Better Late..

Dear everyone,

I'm an extrovert.

That seems to be the theme of this blog, right? Introducing yourself by whatever characteristic most defines your interest in interaction. You'd think such a loud mouth-breather like me would be all over an open platform blogging space, but no. You see, I'm more of a "failed" extrovert, if you're feeling judgmental, a "blooming" extrovert, if you're feeling giving. I am outgoing and talkative and friendly and I don't really hold things back (more on that later), but I also fail to make friends easily and I prefer a quiet evening over a club or other external event. Yes, I speak ceaselessly -- I'm even talking to myself right now. But, conversations with myself or even ThatGuyAtTheMarket aren't bridges into friendship.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm an introverted extrovert? I am always more comfortable with a companion, but I'm not looking to be overwhelmed (just a friend or two at home, please.. not the whole club on Sunset, thanks). It's those friends, though, that are the trouble. I feel as though, after having moved to the most social city in the world (did I mention I live in Hollywood?), I should be reveling in the party atmosphere and sipping from L.A.'s glorious nightlife cup. Instead, I'm spending whole weekends without leaving the house (except to visit the farmers' market, aka. LOVE OF MY LIFE), accepting friends into my quiet home-sanctum. If you routinely spent your Saturday nights in Hollywood calmly cooking, cleaning, and watching Coppola films with a neighbor, would you worry? How about feeling a little inadequate?

Aside: what a lovely way to join a blog -- angsty ruminations (chewchewchew) on inadequacy. Don't worry, I'm getting to the happy part!

After months of trying hard to fit into L.A. life -- the parties, the glamour, the $20 cover charges -- I've finally realized that L.A. is just not fit for me. And I'm not gonna fight it. So, from now on, I'll stop being merely content, but actually proud, to spend my Saturday nights baking lasagna and my Sunday nights playing board games with TheBoy and our upstairs neighbor. I will RELISH my lack of hangover and saved cover charges and not-sore feet. And, most importantly, I will stop trying to make friends with the people who love L.A. and couldn't see themselves leaving (more on that later).

I'm coming to terms with my own sort of extroversion and looking forward to where it takes me.