Desperation for Nothing in Particular

I liked how Jaclyn started her first post, and since at heart I'm desperately trendy, I'm going to do the same. Well, almost the same, because it's obvious to everyone now that I've ACTUALLY begun my first post with a disclaimer about how and why I'm going to begin my first post ...

I'm Tyson. And I'm an INSJ. At least I think I'm an INSJ. I always describe myself as an INSJ. Well, at least as frequently as anyone CAN describe themself using their Meyers Briggs personality. I don't literally go around meetings disclosing this information to casual observers. That would be ... well, something I would consider inappropriate.

I think the thing I really need to say is that the reason it took me so long to look at and subesquently sign up and post to this blog is that I am an introvert, like the others who have written before me, but I feel I'm in a category all my own. I am a TECHNOLOGICAL introvert. Technological introverts do all the things normal introverts do - we shun frequent and overbearing social interaction, avoid trips to bars, complain about being at BINGO at the Hippo, search desperately for a reason to cancel our Tuesday night plans, and curl up in bed at night with that special someone (or pillow) feeling like we're fulfilled. But Techtroverts, as I'd like to call us (actually I wouldn't, except that I already did ...) feel the same way about the world wide webs of the internets.

Like you, I have a Facebook page. I've tweeted. I email my mother and family once a week. I EVEN have an account on MySpace with a page I'm pretty proud of. But here's the E! True Hollywood story about the whole thing. It stresses me the fuck out. Seriously.

I keep thinking - how can any person spend so much time in contact with everyone else? My partner spends a lot of time on facebook. He posts, he does those little application things, he chats. He loves it. And sometimes I'm envious that he has such a good time. But I log in, and in five minutes I'm completely overwhelmed and log out.

Also, I honestly think I found out that one of my best friends was getting married because I saw his facebook status. That's no way to live ... right? I mean, I guess I should just be expecting an Evite to his wedding. And then I keep thinking - if I had mattered that much to him in the first place, maybe he would have chosen to tell me in some other way. Maybe I've been relegated to the dreaded status of Facebook "friends" - so that despite our long standing relationship, he can politely put me on ignore, along with Kandy from Palm Beach, with whom he only shares a passionate interest in starfish on moonlit beaches.

Where are the letters? Not that I even want letters. I don't. My mother writes me a letter every week, and it doesn't make me think our relationship is somehow intrinsically more special because we're using an outdated form of communication. I think I mean that with letters, communication was special. You'd write a letter to your friend in California and send it on the pony express, or something, and they'd wait for it. They'd ACTUALLY wait for your letter. You know, in that oh-oh-the-wells-fargo-wagon-is-a'comin'-down-the-street-oh-please-let-it-be-for-me sense. Instead of sending you an instant message, and then emailing you 45 seconds later when you don't respond, and then texting. Only to find out that you took an extended trip to the bathroom.

But I think the point of all of this is that I feel like all of this just means that, not unlike Jaclyn and her summer of exploration (for which I congratulate her), I am trying to reach out and figure out what all this means. Maybe a techtrovert (god, did I really make up that word?) can still make sense of all of this communication, and have a good time. At least I'm going to try.